Share a Smile

Here is my little Aria and her adorable smile!! I knew I would get around to posting it sometime. I went off milk for a week and it didn't seem to do much except the last couple of days she seemed a little better. We saw her Dr. for her two month appointment (she weight 10lbs 10oz) and he said he thought it would be more a coincidence that she was getting better. I tried milk again on our vacation to Island Park/ Yellowstone (more to post on that later) and she still seemed about the same. I think she is just in the Purple crying phase - look it up if your interested, and she will just slowly get better. Which I think she has over the past couple of weeks.

Last week was an up and down sort of week. Heather bugged be about happy pills. Some call them crazy pills, but I call them happy pills, because when I start on them they throw me through the roof and I am a 10 on happiness. I have been worried about taking them unless absolutely necessary because they don't know what it does to the baby when you nurse. After reflecting on the week and having a long discussion with Marcus I decided to try them again. I took one and then ended up with strep throat this weekend and stopped because I was so miserable. I think I will start today with it, as I am feeling much better, my throat is still sore but not as bad. So hears to a good week on happy pills and maybe I won't feel like I am drowning in my own busy life, or maybe I will just drown with a smile on my face.

As a side note that really made me think about taking pills. Last week Landon was sick and stayed home from school. I was sitting down nursing Aria and Tannen was being himself, happy, buggy and into stuff. I don't remember yelling or anything, but feeling overwhelmed - a typical feeling over here. Landon said "Mom you seem to be having a hard time." Me "Yes I am." (here is just the sweetest boy) Landon "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Me really taken back. I became thoughtful about it. Part of me thought yes quit bugging your brother, etc etc. But he is sick I really shouldn't have him do anything for me. I don't remember thinking or noticing those kinds of things as a kid. Maybe I could stay off happy pills for a year but would I be hurting the other kids with a really irritable mom. (I don't get all depressed and suicidal, I just get really short with my kids, irritable, and don't like to touch or be touch by my kids. Which is really big because I love showing love though touch.) Then after all my thoughts I looked over at Landon and he was playing with Tannen. I love that kid.

On a happy note I set Aria down on her tummy this morning on my bed and went in my bathroom to brush my hair real quick. When I came out she was on her back again. I was pretty excited for my little roll over bug. I will just have to keep an eye on her for the next time.