Catching Up

It seems that I am finally getting my feet under me. Having four kids has really thrown me for a loop, but now things are feeling much more under control. I think it is getting used to everything. I feel like I am getting a good routine down with the kids. Aria is much more reliable for sleeping. She is still not sleeping through the nights, but I know when she is going to get up, and go down for naps. Tannen is Tannen and busy as ever, but we are managing him as well. Aria can sit very well on her own and enjoys playing with toys. Tannen understands us very well and is working on words very well. New words are clock, sit, k (okay), boo (blue's clues), pointing to Aria's bows and saying cute.

I am really just surprised that it has taken me so long to adjust. Four kids is a lot, but I think having the last two 18 months apart has been really tricky. As hard as it has been I really can't regret it, or wish it was later. Marcus and I felt before we were pregnant with Aria that if we were going to have another one we rather have the baby sooner then later. Today she is 6 months old. I love that we got to have her. She completes our family perfectly. I also have a lot of people ask me if we are all done. And I respond with a resounding YES!! It feels right, and that is what both Marcus and I want to have. Our max number of kids was always four, never more.

I thought about what if I just had two kids. It would have been easier to haul them around, they would both be in school now, and it just sounds easier. But I just can't feel bad or regret having four. I love each of my kids, and they bring joy to me. I love having a big family. I love that everyone has a brother and a sister. I love that they get to share rooms right now. I love working on homework, reading and volunteering at school. I love rocking and snuggling and smelling milk breath. I love watching my kids grow and mature. And seeing the beginnings and the potential for whatever they will become. I love my kids. They complete me, and make me a better person. I am my worst with them, when I yell and am tired of waiting, and when they don't listen. But I am my best with them to when I get to snuggle up with them on the couch or bed, when we get to play cards, when I tell them sorry, when we just hang out and talk and giggle, when they let me wrap my arms around them and love them when they are happy, sad, frustrated. silly, mad, or affectionate. I get to give them the best of me, and I get the best of them too.

I love you Landon, Kylie, Tannen, and Aria!!!