Impressions

I have had a lot to think about the past week. On Halloween Marcus was laid off from Sunrise. No work to do. It came as a shock to me. I had a hard time at first. It took me that first day to get over the shock, and half way through the second to stop dwelling on how upset I was. I just needed to look towards the future. I love to plan and planning helped me to feel a lot better. I was able to look at the good side of things, and occupy my thoughts with what are we going to do now. Marcus and I had many long conversations that were very insightful, and soothing to me.

I love how if one or both of us is going through a hard time we always have each other to pull us through and talk it over. I can't even express how wonderful, and grateful I am for my Marcus. I am also very grateful for the church, and other wise people (especially my dad) in my life. I will always glad I listened to the advice, and guidance they gave me to live my life. I always felt like we lived within our means, and tried to make wise decisions. I am a compulsive saver, and very obsessive about money. But now it will take care of us. It is not always easy to save money and live small, but I am finding again that it sure is worth it.

I have also thought a lot on the measure of happiness. When Marcus was in school for so many years of our married lives we were always poor, and never had a whole lot. We were always taken care of, but never had more. But I was always happy. I remember thinking when he is done will school and maybe if I get a bigger house I will be happier. But as time went by, and we never got our bigger house, and had a little more money, and more time together I was still just as happy as when we were dirt poor. And now that he does not have a job, I am still happy. Happiness does not matter where you are in life, and what you have, it comes from within. You can choose to be a happy person, or not. You always hear money doesn't buy happiness, and I have really seen how true that is. I am happy that we have a savings, that we will have three kids. I am looking around my world and seeing and enjoying all the small luxuries that I have.